REVIEW: New Year?s Eve is the Movie Equivalent of a Plastic-Wrapped American Cheese Slice

Movieline Score: 4

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Who are these beautiful, sharply dressed, slightly orange people gliding so effortlessly through a glittery, postcard-worthy version of New York in New Year’s Eve? They’re stars, of course, a galaxy of stars of varying luminescence. New Year’s Eve is Garry Marshall’s follow-up to last year’s Valentine’s Day, which he also directed, and like that film it uses its titular holiday as a ruthless star delivery system in which a menagerie of assembled celebs sprints through a collection of interconnected narrative threads that briskly accelerate from alleged comedy to syrupy sentimentality.

You’re not going to see anyone in New Year’s Eve get drunk, kiss their married boss, vomit and then barricade themselves in the bathroom to spend the rest of the night crying, no sir. Happy endings abound for everyone here, even the terminally ill and the woman who dares to wear clogs. Clogs! (Fetching ones with shearling trim and four-inch heels, but whatever — burn her!) To note that the storylines in New Year’s Eve are ludicrous and virulently cliched seems beside the point, or simply unimportant. These characters are so nominal that when, say, Lea Michele gets stuck in an elevator with Ashton Kutcher, that’s exactly how you think of the set-up, and when the doors finally open you half expect them to scurry off to the sets of Glee and Two and a Half Men, where they may be contractually fined for their tardiness.

But for the sake of capturing the full scope of this…

Source: http://www.celebrities.com/celebrities-gossip/review-new-years-eve-is-the-movie-equivalent-of-a-plastic-wrapped-american-cheese-slice/

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